The Pulse of Quiet Desperation

Cotton quality and resignation

In an earlier post I discussed an idea that our lives tend to move down particular pathways, but that we are often diverted into collateral and divergences when we are confronted with difficulties, conflicts, external events, etc. that we are not able to handle or process adequately. Often these difficulties can catalyze change, some for the better, some for the worse. If we are adaptable, we can pivot and utilize events and circumstances that are out of our control (control being an illusion anyway) to our advantage or in the very least, not create disadvantage. From a spiritual perspective, this can be cultivated. In Daoist practice, we work actively (有為; pinyin: yǒu wéi) so that we can become and engage the world more spontaneously (無為; pinyin: wúwéi), the often misunderstood Daoist concept of acting without acting. This requires a long-term process of deconstructing concepts and ideas of who we are (eg, our ego), and how the world works (a separate post will come on the intracacies of this).

But most of us are not very practiced in this, and it can take a long time to bear fruit. We are often less adaptable from a mental standpoint than we think, clinging to ideas of how things should be. There is a certain psychosclerosis that we succumb to, based on our likes/dislikes and the ever powerful influence of our habituated lives. And as we calcify these ideas over time, we suffer when our likes evade us, or our dislikes manifest more frequently.

There are many adaptive responses that can be created by these challenges, some more positive than others. Some may feel motivated to make changes in their lives; others can sink into despair. Determining factors for such adaptations are one’s constitution, available resources (eg, this can be energy, or confidence, even financial ability to change circumstances, etc.), support from friends, family, one’s past experiences and cultivated abilities to handle stress, the integrity of our nervous systems and our resiliency, our worldview (including religious beliefs), but also the nature of the challege (eg, the stronger the challenge the more difficulty in overcoming it). My mentor, Dr. Leon Hammer (also a preeminent psychiatrist) noted that even those with the strongest of constitutions would succumb under particular stresses if they were strong enough or consistent enough.

Where those challenges become greater than our abilities to change that which we don’t like, we find ourselves in a place where we can become despairing (when our yang-energy is depleted) or resigned (when we still have enough resources to suppress that which we feel powerless to change). Both of these adaptive responses have energetic signatures palpable on the pulse at the radial artery.

Cotton

Resignation shows up as a Cotton pulse (see image below). Henry David Thoreau’s famouos quote that “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation” is reflected in this pulse quality. Cotton feels like a spongy damp amorphous quality of the connective tissue between the skin and the vessel/artery and is characterized by degree, eg, (1) being mild and (5) being severe.

Cotton pulse: excerpted from my book Heart Shock, permission from Eastland Press

When the resignation becomes more acute despair, we also see changes in a few other places on the radial pulse, and there are many combinations that can arise that are beyond the scope of this post (eg, Deep pulses in the Kidneys, showing depleted yang-qi-energy; Empty pulses (where the pulse bottoms out and has no root); changes in the Heart pulse, etc. etc.) They will all, however, have the Cotton pulse as part of the presentation.

Health Implications

Cotton is also a reflection of a number of other processes, potentially, and is associated to conditions that are influenced by lymph circulation and immune function, thyroid functioning, and Divergent channel pathology. And it is important to not ignore their relationship with one’s resignation. If you look back at my prior post on collaterals and divergences, you will easily connect the dots and see the relationships from suppression and repression, to latent health problems and autoimmunity. Lymph and lymph fluids are specifically some of the mediums that help to create the latency in the first place, and it is a quick step from there to sluggish stagnant lymph circulation and a host of immune deficiencies and metabolic diseases. Hypothyroid conditions are but one (albeit very common) consequence of this resignation impacting thermo-regulation, hormonal functioning (hormones are also thick fluids), and the emotional rollercoaster (ups and downs, running hot and cold) that result.

All medicine is Spirit medicine

Understanding these dynamics are important, because when we over-medicalize our symptoms (eg symptoms => disease => prescription medications), we run a real risk of missing the underlying root causes of our suffering. We can take medications to treat an underactive thyroid revealed on a blood test, and that might demonstrate blood values in ‘normal’ ranges as a result, but does it treat the underlying energetics that led to the hypothyroid condition in the first place? Does it alleviate or get to the root of one’s resignation as the catalyst for the suppressed metabolic functioning? Dis-ease can often result from dis-satisfaction and dis-harmony with our environmment, our emotions and our unsatisfied wants. A holistic medicine must ensure that the spirit is addressed and tools such as Chinese medicine pulse diagnosis can bridge that gap and reveal the importance of understanding the patient’s lived experience.